You famous meh?

Just a scattering of random thoughts I've been having... Mostly I wanna push the ah beng entry down coz the first pic in that post is mad fugly.

So. I went to this event where I was invited as a... star. Aka a celebrity.

Digressing before I hit the issue I wanna talk about, I'd never call myself a celebrity/star/ming xing etc, ok? Except maybe in a joking manner. Just hearing it makes me cringe. Maybe because I'm not known in the traditional ways like being a singer or an actress, so even if I'm famous I'm a writer, and writers never call themselves celebrities.

Plus I'm not trying to be humble, it is true that whilst I get some recognition from the public here and there, there are still shitloads of people who don't know me - and if you ownself call yourself famous and people go like "Who are you again?" it's wildly embarrassing.

But I won't deny that I get recognised in Singapore almost everytime I go out, and I even got recognised by readers in London, San Francisco, LA etc, so I am not completely unknown. *defensive*

However, my fame level is not the discussion topic here. And I swear I'm not trying to pat myself on the back here.

The thing I wanted to say is... That day, during that event, a girl who was helping to handle the event came to speak to me - and she's a lawyer.

I already knew her through a friend (she's about my age), so when I saw her there, the first thing she said was, "Oh, what are you doing here?"

I didn't know how to reply since she obviously didn't see my bigass face in the printed poster of *ahem* celebrities present so I just said "Oh I'm speaking as a guest in one of the sessions."

And so she said something like "Oh I didn't know you are famous! I don't know who Xiaxue is and I never heard of Xiaxue. HAHAHA"


And started to ask me what I do etc (albeit not very interestedly).

I didn't think much of this when I was there but as I got home I started to get more irritated.

I don't care if people don't know me coz I know a lot of people don't. But you don't know don't know lah... Why must you like be so fucking proud that you don't know me?

I know what I quoted doesn't sound that rude but it was said in a rather demeaning way and with a loud snide laugh wtf. Very funny meh that you don't know who I am? HAR HAR HAR SO HILARIOUS.

Like trying to belittle my fame (or lack thereof) on the spot like that.

My fame level, whether you know me or not, is a given and a staple. You not knowing who I am doesn't make me any less famous or prove that you are too important to care - it just means you are ignorant of my field.

You blind ah appear on newspaper so many times you never see?

If you don't know who I am but you know that I'm supposed to be famous, then shouldn't you have some respect and don't say you think I'm insignificant to my face? HELLO? I also don't know who YOU are leh... Can I say that to your face?

People only say such shit to me coz they think I'm such a small fry. Which I am fml.

You think there are people who go up to MM Lee Kwan Yew and say

"Who are you ah? What's a minister mentor? Oh so you are a politician? What did you do for Singapore? Sorry never heard of you before."

WTF... He'd probably get a security guard to punch you in the crotch. Ah..... That's my solution! I need to hire someone to punch whoever demeans my achievements.

p/s: Just to clarify - I'm not insulted that that girl didn't know who I am. I just think she's rude, that's all.

On the same note - People who feel there is a need to tell me they used to not like me previously but now they do. ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY LIST OUT WHY LAST TIME THEY DON'T LIKE ME.

FUCK YOU LAH I DON'T CARE IF YOU DIDN'T LIKE ME LAST TIME COZ I GOT LAN JIAO BIN OR WHATEVER OK? I also used to not like you! No wait, I don't know who you are, still don't.

Why must stress that you used to hate me? Trying to tell me I'm some acquired taste is it? Or that you are not sheeple for immediately liking me, coz people who do that are lame and you are special?

How am I supposed to feel about your difficult stuggle with your feelings towards me? Appreciative? Excited? No, I feel a dull indifference.

Thanks for changing your mind I guess, but keep your tactless opinions to yourself. You know why? Coz people hear criticism a lot more resoundingly than praise.

Here's what you say:

Hey Xiaoxue xoxoxo I juz 1 2 say I luv ur blog now I used to h8 you coz you were a fat asshole bitch who thinks so highly of herself wid worms for hair but now I tink u funneh.

Here's what I read/hear:

Hey Xiaoxue xoxoxo I juz 1 2 say I luv ur blog now I used to h8 you coz you were a fat asshole bitch who thinks so highly of herself wid worms for hair but now I tink u funneh.

Make up your mind - just tell me the end product of whether you like or dislike me - don't need to tell me the in between of how you got there. Not interested.

Also - girls, it's ok to say you like me. I'm not worried you are a lesbian, so you don't have to clarify that.

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Wanted to blog about this funny thing that happened during the Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows premiere that day!!

(It is the best HP movie so far imho)

I invited Shuyin to go watch it with me (I think I've watched all 7 HP movies with her or something).

She was late and so I wanted to go in first coz I didn't wanna miss the start. But the problem was that we all had to deposit our phones and I didn't know how to contact her to pass her the tickets.

So I went to the information counter at Cathay and asked the lady there if she can pass the ticket to my friend. She said she was going to go for her break soon and the counter will be empty.

So I said that's ok, how about I put the ticket on her desk, the inner rim of the counter? She said that's alright.

I left the ticket there feeling smart because the public won't look inside the circular counter but Shuyin and reach in and grab it easily enough since she knows where it is.

Then before I deposited my phone I thought that I'd just hide it somewhere in my bag JUST IN CASE - and I successfully sneaked it into the cinema.

After a while a Chinese lady in her early 30s walked into my row and stood where Shuyin's seat is, asking "Is it L35? L35?" - which is SHUYIN'S SEAT.

Realizing what happened, I asked her if she got her ticket stub from the counter and she said she did. So I explained that the stub she got was mine, and her friend probably left another stub for her.

She said there was no other stub there.

And deng deng deng!! Right on cue there came an sms from Shuyin at the exact same time: "There is no stub at the counter!"

Meanwhile this lady was still holding on to my ticket and sitting on Shuyin's seat looking stunned. I can hear her brain slowly whirring - she and her friend didn't have a phone, so how is she gonna contact her friend to get HER stub or find her friend in the gigantic cinema?

I knew I had to go out to pass Shuyin her ticket so I said "Eh... That's MY ticket you are holding."

And stil she did nothing and didn't give me back the ticket!

In the end I had to pry it from her fingers (wtf man stop stoning in bewilderment and get off my fucking seat) in which she didn't even let go willingly!!! WTF!!

So I went out to get Shuyin (thank god I didn't deposit my phone) and when I came back to the cinema the lady was gone.

Up till today I wonder what happened to her.

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Ok this post looks very boring without photos so here are some:

Mike and I on our way to Chili's for his birthday dinner

Camwhoring in the car without the seatbelt on. This is what old people will call 死有余辜. LOL

Mike making me laugh

Baby back ribs and unlimited nachos :D

Gotta love Queso

Two more camwhoring shots:

Ok end!!

Kua simi lan jiao???

Ok the title is horribly vulgar if you can understand it and this is because I'm blogging about the gang issue in Singapore recently!! (Although it's kinda a little over already)

So foreigners will probably not understand this colloquial entry. For those of you who don't know yet, Singapore, typically a very safe country, have had a couple of slashings lately. There was a fatality. And embarrassingly enough, it's done by teenaged gangsters, aka "Ah Bengs".

And they look like that:

Random image I found via google images FTLs if they grew up already and stopped being Bengs.

I can't believe gangs are making a comeback. I remember back in like 1997 or something when it was popular to be an Ah lian or Ah beng with our bleached Wella creme hair ($5.90 or something from Guardian, cheapest hair bleach ever and got 6% or 9% - gives you a tamarin monkey orange like the dude above), MCM bags, pointy combs, neon shirts, giordano yellow windbreakers, cross-back bras, doremon bags and Nokia 8210s with loudass ringtones. Ahhhh, the nostalgia!

I was a chao ah lian then (14 till 16) and I even joined a gang ok!! I think I blogged about this a zillion years ago but my ex boyfriend asked me to join his gang called "Ba hai tong". A week after I joined the girls' division was arrested by the police in its entirety (not including me coz I wasn't an active member). So I asked if that means that I was the leader of the girls division since I was the only one left in it. But they said no. AREN'T U REGRETTING NOW I COULD HAVE RECRUITED SO MANY PEOPLE MUAHAHA

Kidding!! My friends were telling me TECHNICALLY I've not left the gang so I can still be arrested!! LOL

So yeah I can't believe that after years of being totally unheard of, gangs are back in the spotlight and they are KILLING PEOPLE!!

I swear they need to get people to do proper PR for them. I mean look at the Italian mafia - so cool with their filthy money and Brooklyn accents.

Or the Japanese mafia with their deep cultural roots and beautiful women. Ok I made that up but they are cool lah!!

But Singapore "mafia"? Definitely nowhere near cool.

And using what to kill people? Fucking parangs.

Dude, even the name sounds so horrible. It's a knife that's used for CHOPPING TREES IN MALAYSIA. The only weapon gayer is probably a butter knife studded Louboutins sock full of glitter.

Can't they all learn to use butterfly knives or nunchucks or morning stars? First thing to do is to change the weapon.

A morning star says "I'm serious about hurting you"

Second thing to change is the means of transportation.

Apparently when gang members are in need (ie got into staring match with opposing gang), they call for help from other members and they come via... LORRIES.

I imagine those lorries were used to transport durians to and fro in Geylang kind.

Ok I guess this is technically a pickup truck.

NO LOLLIES!! Gang members should appear in Priuses (it's a hybrid car)!

Trust me, an environmentally friendly gang? It sends the message "I'm cool and will kill you but I wanna save this beautiful Earth". People love villains with a soft side.


Third thing our SG gangs should change is the HAIR.

Why all so horribly dyed?? Orangey gold hair just screams "cheap dye job"! Go ahead, threaten a good salon or maybe give them free PR in exchanging for a sponsorship.

How can gangs give PR? Well, during the last slashing they yelled "369" before they ran off right? It was all over the newspapers!!! MAKE USE OF THAT AD SPACE!!!

This time they can yell "HAIR SPONSORED BY PASSION HAIR SALON!!11". Remember to whip your hair back and forth to further emphasize how chio they did your hair for you.

[OK I'm just kidding ok please don't join gangs and slash people it's not worth it to get a death sentence for slashing someone who stared at your fellow gang member wtf.]

Anyway I was at Downtown East that day and I got a mini heart attack everytime I saw a bunch of teenage boys.

A group of my friends were discussing how these gang members bring their 16 inch parangs out without freaking everyone out on the way and someone mentioned that they wrap newspaper around the blade and kiap under the armpit. -_- I hope they not wearing sleeveless if not when they sweat they'd get newspaper print on their pits lol.

So whenever I see teenage boys nowadays I always check to see if they got newspaper with them. Even if they don't I give them a wide berth anyway just in case.

Then I was wondering what I'd do if I had witnessed the slashing of the boy who died. I'd probably run away and call the police. Then I was thinking, if the police came, the boys would probably just run away (remember to give a shoutout to your sponsors!). This is not exciting at all!!

So I beseech the police make use of Singapore's resources. And I'm talking about...

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Jet Li!!

He moved to Singapore for his children's education!!!! JUST IMAGINE IF THE SINGAPORE POLICE FORCE HIRED HIM!!

Just his face (with that above pose, check it out) is enough to make any petty criminal tremble in the knees!!!

When the gang members see him walking towards them (with police behind him in a V formation), perferably dressed in kung fu get-up, they will confirm not run away but be completely stunned.

And taking advantage of their split second distraction, he will sucker punch of all them until they all faint and flail on the ground nursing broken bones, then with this serious face ---

He will ask the victim, "Are you ok?".

After the victim nods, he will deliver a punch backwards to the one silly Ah Beng who got up and tried to attack him from behind.

The police will put everyone in jail and Singapore would be peaceful again!!! How, my plan is good right?

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Join me at CozyCot's 9th Birthday Bash!!

Advertorial

Hello!! I've got good news for you girls!! This Saturday (4th) will be CozyCot's 9th birthday and they are throwing a huge partay!!

And if you wanna meet me in person, I'm gonna be one of their guests along with 5 other stars (Paul Foster, Leena Salim, Andrea Savage and Melissa Faith Yeo).

I reckon the best thing about the bash is the luxury designer bag sale where there are over 150 unique bag designs available for sale!! (there are limited stocks so hurry). You can enjoy up to 70% off brands like Gucci, Prada, Coach and Kate Spade!! Eh somemore you can use a 12-month installment plan for Citibank card holders so broke also must buy lol.

Other than the sale, there will be on-stage demos by hair, makeup and skincare experts so you can definitely learn a thing or two about looking your best.

And I'd be in the BEAUTY TALK SHOW where me and the other, erm, aforementioned stars will be talking about our favourite beauty tips and tricks. ;)

Leena Salim, Shi Xin Hui, Paul Foster and Josiah Leming of TAB will be performing too!

You also instantly shoot and print your photo at the CozyCot Photowall and enjoy the sponsors booths over there.


Hiyah overall it's just that nobody will leave empty-handed!!!

There are hourly lucky draws with instant booth wins, on-stage games, beauty hampers and prizes to be given away. Grand prizes include Sony Ericsson phones, Canon camera and Selphy printer.

Sounds like a fun girls' night out with your bffs?

To register now simply click HERE.